Forever whatever!

So, ok, here is my rant of the day. 

 

I saw a tweet tonight, and although I won't get into what it actually said, it was basically about moms, shopping at Forever21, and how basically they aren't welcomed there.  Let me clarify, it was from a random person, NOT from Forever21 itself, and not related in any way to the actual company.

 

Now, my first thought was, "Oh, how rude is that."  Followed up quickly, by a "HEY!  I'm a mom.  She is talking about me!"

 

How dare she??

 

Now, I will admit that a lot of the clothing at Forever21 is not my style.  In fact, a friend of mine put it best when she said that a new store opened in her area, "Skirts everywhere are going to get a whole lot shorter".

 

And she's right, the hemline of some of those skirts are so miniscule, they could represent Perez Hilton's credibility.  (Boom.  Yeah, I went there.  Yeaaaah, that's right, Perez, THAT was for Aaron Rodgers) (jerk).

 

But then I got to thinking.....Forever21, whether they cater to ridiculously small skirts and shirts that I couldn't even stretch out enough to wear as a bra, had to be started for people like me.  Look at the name, forchristsakes.  It doesn't say Forever16, or ForeverLittleBratBitchOnTwitter.  The name indicates that you are aspiring to be 21 forever, so by that logic you have to BE 21 before you can even SHOP there!!

 

Ok, so my newest leggings with the pleather lace up bottoms may not be exactly age appropriate, but whatever, I like them.  And isn't that what matters? 

 

I think the fact that this young girl is worried about moms shopping in the same place she shops says more about her attitude than mine.  I couldn't care less if I have the same clothing on as a 16 year old.  I am already aware that it will likely look better on that 16 year old, but quite frankly, if it fits me and I feel good in it, then what-ev-er.  It doesn't bother me any.  And that 16 year old should feel ok that even though someone old like me is wearing the same outfit, she is rocking it, and that should be all that matters to her. 

 

Um, besides, have you seen some of the styles lately?  I'm pretty sure that this is a fashion trend that has been around the block a couple of times.  Rest assured, 16 year olds, that a lot of the moms who are shopping at Forever21 are recognizing the fashions from when they were 16.  Does that make you feel better about us shopping there?  Call it nostalgia if you want, whatever.  Just get the hell away from that sales rack.

 

The internet is so full of body-shaming posts and hurtful comments, that we don't need to be hating on each other like that.  There are most certainly fashion trends that I willingly leave to the 16 year olds out there, and those aspiring to be 21 again.  I'm actually quite ok being 30, thank you, but I may, from time to time, dress like I am aspiring to be 21 again. 

 

Truth is, I think that most of the time, you are only too old for something when you put it on and you feel like it makes you look like you're trying too hard.  If you feel good in something, then you are probably rocking it.  And even if you aren't rocking it, you won't notice because let's be honest here, you really only see the critical looks when you are self-conscious. 

 

And someone should let this twitter-twit know that one of these days, she'll likely be a mom.  And even if she's never a mom, she will still be old like me. 

 

So grow up!

 

We're #1...except that's not a good thing....

So I read recently that St. John's is the #1 location in Canada for drunk driving. 

 

There's a statistic to be proud of, hey Newfoundland?

 

In a place as lovely and serene as St. John's, it absolutely amazes me that people still do this.  With everything we know, and all the technology we have, this still happens.  And not only does it still happen, but it actually seems to be on the rise.

 

There are reports now on local news sites that say that 70% of drunk driving arrests come from tips in the public.  That is great, it really shows that the public is concerned, and that they are getting involved to stop this in our city.

 

But with all this effort by the public to stop a very dangerous threat, and the amount of drunk drivers still rising, and not just at night, but all throughout the day as well, it leads to questions such as, are we doing enough to stop this?

 

And clearly the answer is no.

 

So what more can we do?

 

I don't necessarily think that the entire weight lays on the shoulders of the police.  It is great that the public is getting involved, and groups such as MADD certainly do their part to help.  But there has to be more that can be done to raise awareness of just how dangerous this is.

 

When I was in school, we had a group of SADD (students against drunk driving) in our school, but realistically, although it was an inspired idea, we never did too much in the after-school group.  A few of us drew up some posters and came up with a few ideas, but we were mostly there because it seemed like that was where all the older kids were, and it gave us an excuse that we wouldn't normally have to be a part of their group.  But nevertheless, there was some education taking place, and definitely some awareness. 

 

I am admittedly out of touch with high schools nowadays, so maybe SADD still takes place, but there is certainly a need for greater awareness programs, whether it be in school, as part of a re-hab program for people who have been caught, or maybe an entirely new addition to the driving test/drivers permit exam. 

 

What bothers me the most though, is that the majority of drunk drivers that we hear about in the media, are not teenagers.  They are not people who are young and made a mistake and will likely be grounded for it.  They are adults.  Grown men and women.  People who should, and DO know better.  

 

At one of my previous jobs, I had a friend and I knew that she had no issues drinking and driving.  It bothered me to no end, and knowing that she cared a great deal about my family, I put it to her this way.

 

She thought that because she only drove drunk in the middle of the night, she was not risking anyone else's life because no one was on the road at that time of night.  Well, I knew then that she was fooling herself with this crock of shit excuse, and decided to try and wake her up from this stupor that she was believing.  I asked her," What if I was driving my child to the hospital because he had a high fever, at 3am.   You could kill me and my child. How would that make you feel?"

 

I know that she had never considered that, by the look on her face.  I also know that it stopped her from drinking and driving - at least temporarily.  I can't speak for her actions today, but I was not letting her away with it when we were friends.

 

It absolutely baffles me that people would take that risk.  And then you have the ones who won't drink and drive, but consider the risk involved to simply be the police check-points and the risk of getting caught!  Honestly, if you have such blatant disregard for your own life, then there is nothing I can do about that except pray that you will change your mind.  But how can someone have just a feeling of nonchalance towards the lives of anyone else on the road? 

 

Maybe the justice system is to blame.  Maybe the education system.  Maybe there is some way for technology to intervene. 

 

But do we really want to leave such important decisions in the hands of technology? This should be a matter of teaching humans how to act like humans.  High school should teach things like mortgages, taxes, responsibility as a human, alongside the calculus and physics classes.  Driving school should reinforce the responsibility given to you when you drive a vehicle.  And when someone is caught and arrested, there should be stiffer fines, penalties, and rehabilitation requirements.  We need to teach the general public that this is NOT acceptable. 

 

If you drive drunk and get caught, you could lose your license temporarily, probably spend the night in the drunk tank.  If you drink and drive, and actually hit and kill someone, it's manslaughter and you could go to prison for life.  What is the difference, really?  In one instance you are one bad judgement call away from killing someone, and in the other instance, you are one bad judgement call beyond killing someone.  In both cases, the bad judgement call came first when you decided to start up that car after you've been drinking.

 

I'm not suggesting that we throw away the key for all drunk drivers.  But I am certainly suggesting that we NOT make it easy for them to hop back in behind the wheel again.  And I am certainly suggesting that education and rehab are important steps towards preventing them from hopping behind the wheel even once when drunk.

 

Our children are growing up in a scarier place than we did.  I will most certainly do my part for my children by making sure that a ride is always available, and that they understand, without even a shadow of a doubt what the consequences could and would be for driving drunk. 

 

There is no excuse, and there are no second chances. 

 

When you end a life because of a stupid decision like this, you effectively end your own as well. 

 

And it is very sad and disturbing that some people just do not get that.

I'm a creep....

So I was on facebook today, creeping around on some people that I used to know.  (ie- checking out facebook profiles of people I am not personally friends with to see how their lives are going, etc).  I know it's weird, there's a reason it's been coined Creeping.  But no one can tell me they don't do it themselves, or at least think about creeping people now and then. 

 

The weird thing about creeping people, is that you never really know what you are going to find.  Especially if it's someone that you've lost contact with a long time ago.  For years and years I had tried to figure out a way to track down an old childhood friend of mine.  Every now and then, I would randomly do a search on whatever social network I was using at the time (ICQ, Hi5!, facebook, etc) to try and locate him. 

 

There was never anything. 

 

Nada.

 

Like he vanished into thin air.

 

Until suddenly, there he was.  I had found his profile on facebook.  And the funny, goofy, endearing guy we had been friends with years ago was on my screen.  I was finally able to see him; in all his hemp and poncho glory, sporting some less-than-neat-o facial hair and possibly questionable hygiene. 

 

I called my bestie, and got her to search for him. Quietly, and without hesitation we both decided that we wish we hadn't ever looked for him. We quietly closed our browsers, turned off the computers, and never spoke of it again.

 

Then there are other people who you can search for and you find that the person has exceeded your every expectation to your surprise and dismay.  Especially when that person is an ex.  This hasn't personally happened to me, of course, all my ex's have been completely torn up and have never fully recovered from the loss.  This is just an example, not related to me at all.  But I imagine that this has happened to some people, and it must suck.

 

Royally.

 

Creeping can be destructive, though, so you have to be careful who you creep.  And if you learn anything by creeping, be very careful in how you use that information. Or better yet, just don't use it.

 

Bosses wife at the Christmas party:  Guess what my husband gave me for Christmas?

You:  Oh, I saw the beautiful bracelet, you must have loved it!
Wife: Um.  No.  He gave me a Roomba.  What bracelet are you talking about?

 

Eeeesh.

 

Creeping a person on facebook is like running into someone that you don't want to talk to, but knowing that you are safely across the room from them in a safe place where you can watch them at will and not be detected.

 

Not in a place like, for example, if you were at a ob-gyn's office, waiting for your pre-natal appointment, feeling like a sweaty whale at 8.46 months preggo, and looking up from your embarrassing women's health article to see an old friend, whom you left off on less than ideal or flattering circumstances, and his new skinny, cute little non-sweaty wife. 

 

That is a perfect example of why creeping is so great.  Because you wouldn't have to hide behind your embarrassing magazine and mumble something about it being too warm, and pretending that you don't recognize them, when your red face clearly tells a different story.

 

If you were creeping on him instead, you could eat your chocolate covered pickle ice cream in the privacy of your kitchen, and mumble obscenities to yourself about her cutsie little garden and their cutsie little ball of fur with the pink bow in it's hair.  I mean, come on. 

 

Barf.

 

And it doesn't have to be an ex, even, it could be anyone who is no longer in your life that you wish you could be only at your best when you see them.  The reason why you feel that way is not important, but sometimes it is merely a matter of pride, goddamnit.

 

I feel that way about most everyone that I have ever known in my life, no matter who  they are or why I knew them.  If I go out to a store, if I see someone in the distance, I'll find myself sending up a silent prayer, "Please let them not see me this time.  Please let them run into me in a few months instead, when I have a chance to loose some weight, touch up my roots, or at least put a bit of powder on my face"...

 

Maybe it's a lack of self-confidence, maybe it's a little bit of snobbish attitude, or perhaps it's just a little bit of social anxiety.  Whatever, I'm sure it's not just me that feels this way sometimes. 

 

So I take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone in that, and you should too.  For every person that I creep, I'm sure there are a few people creeping my own facebook.  There's a reason that we put our best pictures on facebook and untag ourselves from any unflattering pictures.  It's not just for the people you are friends with, because if they are real friends they won't give a shit what your hair looks like, or if you have a double chin in your picture.  Sometimes it's for the people that you aren't friends with as much as anyone else. 

 

Sometimes, it's merely a matter of pride, goddamnit.

 

 



Nappy New Year!

On New Year's Eve, I can't help but feel a little reflective over the past year.  And really, what choice do we have, when everywhere we turn, we are seeing blogs about "How to be a better person in 2014", "How to let go of mistakes you made in 2013", "13 foods that you were not eating in 2013 because they caused cancer that will now be cures for cancer in 2014". 

 

Ok, that one may be made up, but you get the idea.  And let's be honest, it's really not that far of a stretch.

 

Carcinogens, anyone?

 

Sometimes I think these bloggers are coming up with any old sappy "better yourself" and "what you're doing wrong" posts just in the hopes that their blog will go viral, making them famous for 5 minutes.  And though we aspire to the "15 minutes of fame", it's now harder than ever since it has been reduced to 7 seconds, thanks to vines.    I mean, perhaps on some level, we all have hopes of being the next big thing with a guest appearance on Ellen and some fancy blogging job for her after you return from your dream honeymoon that she will obviously send you on.  But I will not sell out my blog in an attempt to gain one-time viewers and a few shout-outs on more reputable blogs.

 

So on that note, I welcome you to my 2013 List of the cutest puppy pictures that will make you cry for sure, so grab some tissues, because you will need them.  I made sure that each picture has an inspirational little quote showing how you can make yourself a better person while making you quietly feel guilty for yelling at your kids and resolving to be a better parent and do volunteer work in 2014.

 

Um...yeah.  *cough*

 

That's probably not going to happen.  Although if you visit Pinterest, I'm sure you can compile your own list of bad-parent-shaming good-parent-empowering posts. 

 

2013 has made me more tolerant, slower to judge and quicker to help.  It was a year that has made me realize that there are bigger things in life than our #firstworldproblems.  Granted, I'm still awkward, and I'm really not good in social situations.  I'm still not organized, and I'm late for everything I've ever tried to attend.  I still have a very misplaced sense of personal style that I can't quite get right, and we still have very few friends that we socialize with on a regular basis.  I am not quite as patient as I'd like, and I still gossip now and then, although that is an area I've been working very hard on.  I'm still somewhat of a hypochondriac, and I say stupid things that I know are stupid, but my mouth and brain are not connected at times.  I'm still overweight, which is a goal of 2014 (, and 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010......1998....).  I still spend too much money and long for vacations on the beach and new boots, and new clothing....

 

But all of those are minor things.  I've learned so much more in 2013 that have taken me 30 years to figure out.  For one thing, planning for the future for ourselves and our children is much more important and being able to visit fancy restaurants and buy expensive clothing.  We have been working on education funds and retirement plans for a few years now, but I think this year it finally began to take it's place as a priority in my line of thinking.

 
I've realized that although I'm undoubtedly going to make errors in judgement in relationships and friendships, and those relationships help to make me who I am, they do not define me.  I can only be defined by the way I treat others and myself, and the way that I live those relationships.  Simply being a part of them is not enough, I have learned that I have to work at them, and make them something worthwhile.
 

Over this Christmas holiday, and leading up to it, I really learned how good it can make you feel to help someone, even when you can't actually see the people you are helping.  In previous years, we have given some boxes of Kraft Dinner to the food bank, and probably donated a thing or two to the Happy Tree to be distributed to needful families.  Every bit helps, and that was awesome.  This year, as a family, we decided  that we wanted to go a step further than we ever have.  It was important to us, and helped us grow together.  We felt that we could do more,  and it felt good.  What we donated or participated in is not important.  But to donate anonymously is an awesome feeling.  I realized that I don't need anyone to tell me "thanks" to make me feel good about what we were able to contribute, because you never know when it may be you accepting those donations. Life is funny that way.  Hopefully next year, we will still be in a position to help make other people's Christmas's, and even daily life, a bit easier in our own hometown.

 

I've also realized that sometimes there are areas in life where you will walk alone, and you may feel that you are not encouraged to share you thoughts on things.  I have been very judgemental in the past about certain issues, and I now see that being judgemental makes me no better than those who show intolerance in the things they say, post and share on social networking.  Bullying was a strong point in 2013, and sometimes those who are the first to speak up against bullying, use outlets such as religion to condemn others for things that are out of their control, which can also take the form of bullying.

 

I walked into a church this year, for the first time in far too long, and found that it meant something to me.  For a very long time, I've fought against religion on a personal level, always wanting to be something, anything, else.  I really held a strong discord against organized religion.  I studied Wicca, I thought I was perhaps an atheist, although I always knew that wasn't quite right.  I always felt there was something else out there, but never knowing what, I never belonged anywhere.  And it bothered me.  I always felt like I believed in a god, but disliked the messages that churches were sending, so strongly, that I knew I could never feel at home in a place that disregarding other humans as being sinners simply because of a sexual orientation, or something else that was equally out of their control.  My own strong opinions on certain matters just didn't mesh with those of organized religion. I could never feel at home in a house of hypocrites that preached that their saviour was the only judge, but yet, they judged other humans all the time.  When I stepped into the church back in May, it was not for myself.  It was not to find something I was missing, it was simply to give it a try to please others.  I went with a feeling of contempt and disregard.  It was never about finding myself or starting a journey.  But I surprised myself, and I found something that I didn't expect.  I found a place where tolerance was their motto and acceptance was their creed.  I found myself eager to learn and explore. I promise you that I am not going "all churchy" on you all, because it's a very personal thing which this is not the place to share, but I am just glad that I was able to find what I was missing, when I'm not sure I even realized I was missing it.

 

I've learned that you really never know how someone from your past can play a very important role in your future.  So you should be patient and kind, and try not to judge someone too quickly.  When I worked at Tim Horton's, one of the part time bakers there was very nice, although I didn't know him well. I knew he was going to be a minister and was waiting to get married.  9 years later, I walk into a church for the first time in too long, and find that very same guy, up at the front giving a sermon that would really reach me.

 

2013 was about many things to me and I can't wait to see what 2014 brings me.  I know this isn't a usual witty lighthearted blog post, and although certainly not worthy of viral re-posts and shares, I felt like there were some things that I just wanted to say.  I feel very blessed to have some regular readers, and I love it when I randomly hear that people follow my blog and love to read my posts.  Nearly every time I post something, I wonder if I have "jumped the shark" or completely missed the mark, which I undoubtedly will from time to time.  I think it's really cool to have a few following my thoughts, because as the blog name says, it really is everyday common nonsense, and I know that some days are more nonsensical than others, and some days I barely string sentences together to come up with something worthy of your time. 

 

So my resolutions for 2014 are this:

 

I will try to post more frequently on my blog.  So if some days are garbage, I apologize in advance!

 

I am going to work on my time-management and punctuality. 

 

I am going to lose weight.  Again.

 

I am going to try to make my family healthier in body, mind and spirit.

 

I am going to try to make myself healthier, in body, mind, and spirit.

 

I am going to house train that damn poodle.

 

I am going to get outside more, and spend quality time with my kids.

I am going to try to contribute to my community a little bit more.

I am going to cook more and eat less crap.

I am going to work on my business more, and set myself some realistic goals.  Then I am going to follow through on said goals.

So when the ball drops tonight and the fireworks light up the sky, and Auld Lang Sine rings out across the night air, I hope you all find someone that you love and place your hopes and dreams for 2014 together with theirs.  Every single one of us deserves our hearts desires, and may you all find it in yourselves this holiday season.  Happy New Year, may you have a wonderful, healthy, happy and prosperous 2014.

 

A new chapter, (but I'm not ready to turn the page!)

In two days, my 8 year old son heads off to grade 3.  And then my baby girl hits Kindergarten.  I imagine it is going to be much like the tasmanian devil charging it's way into a classroom. Don't get me wrong, she is not loud, rude, or overwhelming.  But believe me when I say that she, although sometimes quiet, has a strong personality, a huge sense of humor, and a challenging nature about her, wherein she does not take "just because" as a viable answer.  

For anything.

Believe me. I have tested it.

I guess we never really know what our children are going to be like when they are out of our sight.  I know that when I drop her off to her first day of Kindergarten, she will not be the child crying and clinging to me.  She will likely hug me tight, give me a kiss and tell me that everything will be ok.  My son will quickly hug me with one arm, but pretend he doesn't know me, and head off with his friends while I linger in the doorway of the classroom with the other mom's and dad's and their downtrodden eyes, wondering where the last 8 years have gone.

I've had discussions with my kids as of late, to try to prepare them for all the things that I hope to God they never have to encounter.  About some things that I know they will encounter, no matter how much I will against it, and other things that I thought they were way too young for.  

Things like people treating them inappropriately, both physically and mentally.  What abuse is. What bullying is.  How to recognize if someone is being bullied or if they are bullying someone.  What to do if they know that someone is being bullied, who to talk to, and what they can do to make a difference.

Discussions about drugs, and the various scary-as-shit ways that they are delivered now.  I have had to tell my children not to accept anything from sweet tarts to pop rocks for fear that they are not the fun childhood candy we all enjoyed, but rather something much more ominous.

I've already touched on how the internet is a wonderful tool that can be used for everything from knowledge to contact with friends, but how it can also be a very scary, different world than the playground, and things that happen online can have a very real impact on their lives.  They are still a little young for this, since their internet use is still closely monitored and they do not have phones yet, but this will be a re-occurring conversation, and each time we discuss it, it will be a little more in depth.

I have had to speak with them about treating their classmates with respect, and understanding that not everyone likes physical contact.  That everyone has personal space, and we should not invade it.  That is a tough one, because my son has no concept of personal space.  Like, none. Zip.  Nothing.  He is the kid standing two inches from your ass in the line up at the grocery store.  And no matter how many times I mention it and explain it to him, it's like a foreign concept every. single. time.

I've explained about hugs and kisses and although it kills me to have to even broach the subject, (because it is super cute) they will sooner or later reach the age where they have little boyfriends and girlfriends, they need to understand that school is not the place to explore those feelings.  

I don't ever want them to think that it is not ok for them to express themselves in a respectful, appropriate manner.  Having to warn them against public displays of affection at this age makes me a little sad.  Not only because in this day and age, getting kids together is not as easy as it used to me, and many times they do not get a chance to explore the natural feelings that they have, but also part of the innocence of a child is being able to show their love so easily.  And they do love so easily, which is what makes children so great.  We could learn from them sometimes. And let's face it, what harm is there to two 5 year olds holding hands at the playground?  Or giving each other a little kiss?  It isn't as if they are even at the age where they are even privy to knowing the process being making babies. They may know where babies come from, but they don't yet know where babies come from, if you catch my drift.

*cringe* Hopefully, that is still a ways down the road.  

I feel like that level of concern should be kept at the junior high level, where it could be a potential threat.  I know when I was young, the teachers would probably coo over the little kindergarteners who had boyfriends, and comment on how cute they were when they were in the staff room.  It wasn't until grade 7 where kissing in the hallway at recess would have your parents alerted at the next PTA night. Although I fiercely disagreed with it at that time, claiming it was not my teachers business, (yeah, we were all brats, move on.), I hope now that someone will tell me of my kid's behaviour, should that ever happen.  

*cringe* PleaseOHplease say that is still a ways down the road.  

I want my kids to be happy, healthy, strong and mindful of others.  I want them to respect their friends, their teachers and themselves.  I hope that they will go to the kid who's been pushed down, stand them up and brush them off, and say hi.  I hope they will have fun, and learn, and not worry about what others say about them as long as they are confident.  I want to build their self-esteem, and know that my husband and I are always there for them, 100%, all the time.  

But I also know that they will be brats sometimes.  They will be rude, they will disrespect. They will pick on and be picked on.  They'll be downright jerks.  They will hurt and be hurt sometimes, and they will come home from school and cry because life is unfair.  

But may they always, always remember that tomorrow is a brand-spanking new day and any day can start a new chapter.  You just have to be strong, and be ready for anything that comes your way.  

And you have to turn the page.

My eyes! My eyes!

I have to say that I am so over this week's unofficial blog topic.  

I am so done with the Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke talk. 

I get it.  Their award show performance was distasteful, alarming and offensive.  The twerking (is that really a thing...?  Like, really?!) was too much.  Robin Thicke certainly came out looking like a dirty old man; Miley a skank sad, damaged girl, possibly headed toward some sort of a breakdown with her fuck-the-world-I'm-no-role-model attitude.

But let's move on, shall we?

Overall it was a lame attempt at entertainment, with poor dancing, poor singing, and really terrible wardrobes, that jacked people up and got them talking.  People like YOU.  And ME. And damnit, it's nearly a week later and we're still discussing it.  Hats off, then, Miley and Robin. Obviously, that is what you wanted.  

But I have read blog posts in the form of letters to daughters - Let Miley Cyrus Be A Lesson to You, and letters to sons - Don't Let Robin Thicke Be A Lesson to You.  

And while I understand the senitments, how about "Don't let Hollywood "Entertainment" be a Lesson to You"?  How about don't worry about what those morons on TV are doing?  You know if it's inappropriate behaviour to follow, right?

Your kids will only act that way if YOU show them that it's ok. Those lessons come from home, people, they need to learn to differentiate between reality and entertainment.  By writing our kids these types of letters and getting outraged over this, are we not showing them that this behaviour draws attention?  Are we not telling them that music and performances are there to teach us something?  That there are lessons to be learned by watching on-stage performances, music videos, and listening to the lyrics of songs?

Give your children some credit!  Teach them that TV  and radio messages are not always real! Teach them that real life lessons come from real people in real life, not songs and award shows. 

Miley and Thicke want you talking about this. I feel like I'm standing alone when I say I don't think it's a big deal.  I am not afraid to admit that I like the song Blurred Lines.  Don't judge me, I sing along and enjoy the upbeat song, but maybe because I don't take it too seriously.  I never even paid much attention to the lyrics, that are not that different from a lot of other songs out there right now, until I read an article about how it was the "Rape Anthem of 2013".   Really?  Is that really a label that you want to affix to anything?  

Come on now. 

Just by calling it a rape anthem, you are putting rape in the spotlight, but insinuating that a catchy tune on the radio sums it up.  Is that not counter productive?  The mind has a way of strongly associating memories with song.  So this tune that kids think is fun and catchy, that gets you bopping in your seat, now has a mental tie to a terrible human act.  

This is a song that all the kids are singing.

And you want to label it the rape anthem.

And you don't see anything wrong with that? 

It makes these same kids that are innocently singing along with a catchy tune on the radio, stop and really start to think about that song.  For God sakes, don't analyze the lyrics!  Are you kidding me?!  More music today has a negative message in it than a positive message, so for heavens sake, so don't open up that flood gate of analyzing and labeling every catchy new tune that comes out on the radio.  You are drawing more attention to a song that would be quickly over and forgotten about.

By over-analyzing lyrics and the behaviour of their singers,  you are telling your kids that songs are there to be analyzed.  That the messages in the songs are legit.  It gives the song a new meaning, and therefore a stronger presence in their mind.

Let it just be a catchy tune on the radio that you listen to and ignore at the same time. Indifference speaks louder than words. Don't dwell, don't talk about the lyrics of their songs, (both equally terrible when you read them), and don't let your kids feel that this is normal behaviour.  This is Hollywood staging.  No different than watching a movie; you know that it's not real life.  

Mainly, relax.  While it's true that a parents blatant dislike for something tends to make it more appealing for their children, it is also true that values and morals are instilled in them from their parents leading by subtle example and not focusing on the negative things in this life that will stick with them.  The greater the attention given to something, whether it be a good influence or bad, creates a greater memory in their minds.  If you pay too much attention to something outrageous, they may not always remember your point of view on the subject, but I can promise you that they will always remember the subject.

The itch to write

Ok, I'm not going to go on about being back from my hiatus, because this might last a day, and it might last a month.  So, I'll pretend like I hadn't checked out of my blog for all this time, and I will carry on as if I was normal.

Every since my first day of grade...9, yes, grade 9, I've known I wanted to be a writer.  On my very first day of Grade 9, our homeroom teacher, who was also vice principal of the school, was also our English teacher.  He asked us on that first day to write out a little index card of information about ourselves so that he could learn about us.

Now, this teacher, for whatever reason, was one of those people that a lot of people were a little intimidated by.  Everyone else disliked him.

We had no idea that we were going to be somehow judged by how those index cards were written.  I have no idea what I wrote.  Who knows.  Probably some boring dribble about my cat or something...

What I do remember, is when this teacher went on to announce, to the entire class, that my index card was the only card in the entire class that had no errors on it.  Not one.

From that moment on, I was in his good books.  And believe me when I say that even though I was not always the best behaved, and like any pre-teen girl I had a little, slight attitude.  (Shush, mom, it was only a little attitude).  But I could do no wrong in his class.  If I was talking to someone, it was the other students fault.  If my homework wasn't done, it was probably because I was doing something important like writing a thesis.

Ok, maybe not quite that extreme, but I was pretty awesome in Mr. Street's eyes.

I mean, finally  someone had recognized that.

And that is what peaked my interest towards writing.  I have always known that someday I would write something, even if it was a book that no one else would ever read.  I love to write, and if the opportunity presented itself to write for a living, then hells yah, I'd be all over that.

Well said, right?

So, about a year ago, I was thinking about the Harry Potter series.  I have not yet read the books, Chase and I are going to read them together, and we've started a couple of times, but that first book is so slow starting off.  But eventually we'll read them.

So I was thinking about the series, and how bloody brilliant that series is.  Appealing to a massive audience of both girls and boys, children that grew up along with Daniel Radcliff's character....ummm...what's his name again?  Henry..?  Harold?  Oh, right, Harry.

Brilliant.  But it is a great idea, bring in the boys with the action, magic, wizards and monsters or whatever it's all about.  Then bring in the girls by introducing a few other female characters into the mix, and of course appealing to their own sense of adventure with the magic, wizards and monsters.  Or whatever.

So I started thinking about writing a story idea that appeals primarily to girls in a way that is not so Disney-Princess (and for the record, I have no problem with Disney Princesses, I loved Ariel and Belle, and now my daughter loves that shit).  But girls should have a series like this, with an adventurer that is female, strong, brave and smart.  A good adventure series that of course is not "for girls" because I don't believe in that, but maybe aimed to include typical girlie-girls (like my own girlie-girl) while being appealing to all audiences.  Seems to me that stories that include princesses seem to be about falling in love and finding prince charming.  I wanted to write something that was not about that stuff, but more about adventure and exploring, and friendships.  More like Lord of the Rings for kids.  But less, like, evil.

So I sat down one night and I started writing this book.  I worked for about a week on his beautiful book, and it was turning into exactly what I was looking for.  It was a beautiful story of these little nymph's living in a field.  I won't give away too much, but there was going to be a big beautiful adventure and since nymph's are tiny (you knew that, of course, right?) it was going to be really cool with like, giant strawberries and mushroom toadstools, and fireflies, etc.

So I took a break from my book one night, and we went off to a movie with the kids.  I was feeling really good about my writing and I was excited to get back at it.  I forget the movie we were going to see.  Doesn't matter.  During the previews, I saw something that made me literally sick to my stomach in dread.

Honestly, I nearly cried in the theater.

It was heart wrenching.

This.

It was a preview for the movie Epic.

I thought I might vomit on the theater floor.

Darren very carefully (wisely) looked over at me to see me with my jaw set, my eyes dead, and probably a tear or two.

I couldn't believe it.  It was so much like my story, except mine was better!!!

Damn you, movie-making-big-shot-company-jerks.

Anyways.....I'll get back to my book eventually.  I'll change it from nymphs in a meadow to astronauts in the milkyway or something.  It won't be the same, but I'll make it work.

But I have not been able to watch Epic yet.  I can'y bring myself to, not even for research.

And Really?!  Who names a movie Epic.

Come on, Man.