In two days, my 8 year old son heads off to grade 3. And then my baby girl hits Kindergarten. I imagine it is going to be much like the tasmanian devil charging it's way into a classroom. Don't get me wrong, she is not loud, rude, or overwhelming. But believe me when I say that she, although sometimes quiet, has a strong personality, a huge sense of humor, and a challenging nature about her, wherein she does not take "just because" as a viable answer.
For anything.
Believe me. I have tested it.
I guess we never really know what our children are going to be like when they are out of our sight. I know that when I drop her off to her first day of Kindergarten, she will not be the child crying and clinging to me. She will likely hug me tight, give me a kiss and tell me that everything will be ok. My son will quickly hug me with one arm, but pretend he doesn't know me, and head off with his friends while I linger in the doorway of the classroom with the other mom's and dad's and their downtrodden eyes, wondering where the last 8 years have gone.
I've had discussions with my kids as of late, to try to prepare them for all the things that I hope to God they never have to encounter. About some things that I know they will encounter, no matter how much I will against it, and other things that I thought they were way too young for.
Things like people treating them inappropriately, both physically and mentally. What abuse is. What bullying is. How to recognize if someone is being bullied or if they are bullying someone. What to do if they know that someone is being bullied, who to talk to, and what they can do to make a difference.
Discussions about drugs, and the various scary-as-shit ways that they are delivered now. I have had to tell my children not to accept anything from sweet tarts to pop rocks for fear that they are not the fun childhood candy we all enjoyed, but rather something much more ominous.
I've already touched on how the internet is a wonderful tool that can be used for everything from knowledge to contact with friends, but how it can also be a very scary, different world than the playground, and things that happen online can have a very real impact on their lives. They are still a little young for this, since their internet use is still closely monitored and they do not have phones yet, but this will be a re-occurring conversation, and each time we discuss it, it will be a little more in depth.
I have had to speak with them about treating their classmates with respect, and understanding that not everyone likes physical contact. That everyone has personal space, and we should not invade it. That is a tough one, because my son has no concept of personal space. Like, none. Zip. Nothing. He is the kid standing two inches from your ass in the line up at the grocery store. And no matter how many times I mention it and explain it to him, it's like a foreign concept every. single. time.
I've explained about hugs and kisses and although it kills me to have to even broach the subject, (because it is super cute) they will sooner or later reach the age where they have little boyfriends and girlfriends, they need to understand that school is not the place to explore those feelings.
I don't ever want them to think that it is not ok for them to express themselves in a respectful, appropriate manner. Having to warn them against public displays of affection at this age makes me a little sad. Not only because in this day and age, getting kids together is not as easy as it used to me, and many times they do not get a chance to explore the natural feelings that they have, but also part of the innocence of a child is being able to show their love so easily. And they do love so easily, which is what makes children so great. We could learn from them sometimes. And let's face it, what harm is there to two 5 year olds holding hands at the playground? Or giving each other a little kiss? It isn't as if they are even at the age where they are even privy to knowing the process being making babies. They may know where babies come from, but they don't yet know where babies come from, if you catch my drift.
*cringe* Hopefully, that is still a ways down the road.
I feel like that level of concern should be kept at the junior high level, where it could be a potential threat. I know when I was young, the teachers would probably coo over the little kindergarteners who had boyfriends, and comment on how cute they were when they were in the staff room. It wasn't until grade 7 where kissing in the hallway at recess would have your parents alerted at the next PTA night. Although I fiercely disagreed with it at that time, claiming it was not my teachers business, (yeah, we were all brats, move on.), I hope now that someone will tell me of my kid's behaviour, should that ever happen.
*cringe* PleaseOHplease say that is still a ways down the road.
I want my kids to be happy, healthy, strong and mindful of others. I want them to respect their friends, their teachers and themselves. I hope that they will go to the kid who's been pushed down, stand them up and brush them off, and say hi. I hope they will have fun, and learn, and not worry about what others say about them as long as they are confident. I want to build their self-esteem, and know that my husband and I are always there for them, 100%, all the time.
But I also know that they will be brats sometimes. They will be rude, they will disrespect. They will pick on and be picked on. They'll be downright jerks. They will hurt and be hurt sometimes, and they will come home from school and cry because life is unfair.
But may they always, always remember that tomorrow is a brand-spanking new day and any day can start a new chapter. You just have to be strong, and be ready for anything that comes your way.
And you have to turn the page.
