The Princess and the lifeguard

So, my daughter wants to be a lifeguard when she grows up.

Actually, she is quite ambitious.  She has decided that she will be a lifeguard during the day, and a princess otherwise.  I mean, as a mother, of course I want her to be successful.  I just think that working two jobs like this might wear her out.  But she's only young, so she has the energy for it, I suppose.

I read an article that someone had posted a while ago on facebook that said that you should not tell your little girl that she's pretty.  You should focus on things like her brain and tell her how smart and clever she is instead, as this will give her more value in her life.

Well, I have since deleted this person from facebook.  You see, I have a small habit of not being able to shut the hell up whenever I feel strongly about something, (hence, the blog).  One thing lead to another, I gave my opinion, she showed her ignorance, which by the way, was enough to make me want to go through the computer at her.  So, to put it nicely....

I call bullshit on that.  Almost every little girl loves to hear that she is beautiful.  I really don't think that this makes her feel any less smart.  I doubt that at the ripe old age of four, she assumes that if she's pretty than she needs nothing else.  That she's set for life.  I also don't think that by telling her that she is beautiful I'm setting her up for a lifetime of Chanel lipglosses and lap dogs in an oversized purse.

How about the little girl that no one ever told that she is pretty?  No matter how you try to avoid it, physicality plays a large role in the lives of  little girls everyone these days.   If my husband never, ever complimented me, eventually it would really start to bother me.  It is irrelevant than I have a personality flaw that ensures that I cannot accept a compliment to save my damn life.  (Those conversations usually go, "You look nice today", to which I respond, "Shut up, I do not.")  Ok, so I usually don't believe him, and sometimes take his comments to mean that he wants something, but nevertheless, it is nice to hear.  Even though I know it doesn't matter what I look like, I know he will love me, it still makes me feel good to know that he can admire me.  Sometimes it's all I need to hear.

But if he never, ever said anything like that to me, except to comment on how smart and clever I am, after a while I think my self esteem would start to take a beating.

My little girl knows that she's beautiful.  She also knows that she is smart, clever, and that she can be anything she wants in the world, even a lifeguard by day and a princess by night.  (I think it's safe to keep that dream alive for a few more years).  She also knows what makes you beautiful.  Go ahead, ask her.  She'll tell you every single time, "My heart".